Tuesday, 17 December 2013

The Urn Returns A quick report on the 2013-14 Ashes Series

The ICC Cricket Committee has announced that they will be scrutinising the English Team's Dietary requirements for the 2013-14 Ashes campaign in the wake of their 3-0 campaign loss at Perth on the 17th of December 2013, with 2 tests yet to be played.

The English team made sensational headlines for their outrageously opulent 'dietary' requirements for their Ashes campaign.  To quote The Guardian:

"As an example, after the first day of every Test match, the following must be available in the England dressing room 20 minutes before the end of play:
• Moroccan spiced griddled chicken fillets with lime and coriander mayo
• Lamb and pea kofta kebabs with mint yoghurt
• Roasted vegetable and halloumi kebabs with red pepper dip
• Ginger and garlic king prawn kebabs with garlic mayo
• Selection of wholewheat French bread pizzas (parma ham and tomato/feta and red onion)
• Selection of sandwiches (grilled aubergine, red pepper, red onion and basil puree; Cajun salmon, yoghurt and cucumber; Thai citrus chicken and rocket; avocado, raw slaw and butterbean; turkey breast, basil and pine nut)
• Almond and cinnamon flapjacks
• Banana and peanut bars (protein-based Maximuscle)
• Chocolate and coconut truffles.
England will be unapologetic for the documents, as they are an example of the meticulous attention to detail that has underpinned the success of the team over the past four years under the supervision of the team director, Andy Flower, and Hugh Morris, the managing director of England cricket."

Read the original article here

The ICC has announced that, following their 3-0 loss of the Ashes, with 2 tests to play, the English Dietary requirements be thrown out the window, and be replaced with slices of this...

And if they find that a bit hard to swallow, then they can all eat this...

News Flash!  Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth has just officially congratulated the Australian Cricket Team on their victorious 2013-14 Ashes Campaign.
 I'm sorry, Your Majesty, you're one finger short, because...

Bring on Boxing Day!

6/1/14 Update

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